True Me- without falsely painted picture of Me

Hey, I have been brain storming a lot on what to write for my new book soon after I finish my first children book. Its fun but time consuming to write a children book as you need to crack your brain to find the right words and pics to go with it.. Beside that, the colours that you use have to be full colour not 16bit colour or 24bit colour but range from 256 above.. thus to publish a children book it really cost a lot.. and the margin that you earn might be less I guess.

I have been so wanting to go into writing and thats my second biggest goal in life. My first goal is to be a child psychologist.. as for now I have been working on my first goal .. and not long ago I have started working on my second goal. Not too sure how the road will be like for my second goal, as things don't go smoothly as the way you want! BUT! I will be contended even I didnt make it as I am glad that I have taken the first baby step to get it generate.

As my life here in Singapore, it have never been a pleasant one. Basically, I guess I still holding onto my past and mourning about the unpleasant events that happen. This can replace by a word Self -Pity.. I guess I am.. maybe I am not..

The environment that I grown up in filled up with shouting, screaming, and demoralising words. Nothing at home seem to be in the right placed... brother don't get canned for begin naughty but I do.. brother get what they want but I get nothing.. Many people said that it alwys the lucky thing to be the youngest where you be pampered like king.. but not for me .. I work like a 'slave'.. Thus into my adulthood, I cant think of anything happy..and I alwys have to falsely painted picture of ME as I am outside. Every laughter and every joke that I make hide away my sadness.. nothing abt me is true till I got home..

Till today as dated below.. I am still like covering myself up .. but only review to people whom I close with and I trust.. it still a long way for me to reach to the stage to totally to let go myself and be truthful of who I am.. But in this road of where I am right now, I have truely learn a lot and mst imptly I am to gain back what I have once betrayed and lost..

What I need now.. is to look at things at different angle and see it positively.. think happy and hve happy thoughts.. Let go and that will be the true me...

:):):)