We Belong Together

"We Belong Together", is a song By Mariah Carey.. and everytime when I hear this on air, my heart will start to ache.. and all the good memories I have with Mr H. start flashing back.. and tears will then start trickle down to my face.. I am not exaggerating.. but this is the truth..
Last Sunday, I went to church and Pastor W. sermon was on "Bitterness", and he was explaining the need to remove this bitterness in our heart.. and how much damage it can do to our daily life and affect the people we loved. At one point, he was asking us to search our own heart to search for anything or any person whom have cause bitterness to you; forgive them. I tried searching every part of me, asking why I have not been believing love and have walk out of it.. It came to haul when Mr D. appeared... well I have found the answer.. I truly understand why I have walk out of it.. I cant put all the blame on him.. but now he belongs to the past .. and I belong to the present and the future.. so should I like this continue to hurt me?? Well definitely not..
I remember times when I am with Mr H., sometimes I do felt insecure to be with him.. as I do not know will be hurt the same way as what Mr D. has done to me... at that point, I am not strong enough to put this in the past.. so when I was with Mr H.. i was still holding the past.. and this is really unfair to him, I tried my best to erase the past and look foward.. but as times go by.. I slowly slowly walk out the shadow that I have with Mr D.
So now Mr H. is in France and I do miss him a lot.. especially the song "We Belong Together." the lyrics of this song touches my heart and is reflecting my real life that I am going through now.. the first stench :
I didn't mean it When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I did nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be Sitting here beside myself
This is true I never thought what will happen to me without his love .. and with him around.. I always think that I will be strong enough to handle this.. but I was wrong.. every gesture he make, touches my heart.. and every words he said is always resounding in my heart.. So indeed I was foolish.. to let him go like this..

I didn't know you
I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything I never felt The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't Hear your voice
Or even touch or even kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
What I wouldn't give To have you lying by my side
It is true I didnt know myself at that well.. as hurts blur up everything I have in my heart.. tears were always the one tiring me up before I go to bed..

We belong together
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
- this whole stench is very important to me as it reflects how I am feeling right now. When he left, I felt lost and I do not know what should I do.. Should I cross the road when it is red man or should I use a spoon to eat noodles.. everything get confuse... but it have been a month since he is gone.. so dont worry about me I am still coping well... I dont know what does Mr H. feel about the whole relationship.. will he comeback for me.. and does he feel that We Belong together?

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place Baby nobody else
We belong together
-Since he left... I told myself that no one can ever have my heart except him.. nobody esle.. this is true I have no intention of starting a new relationship.. not because I am afraid.. but is because he is the one who open up my heart to love and he is the only one.

I can't sleep at night
When you're all on my mind Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me 'If you think you're lonely now' Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
-So when I heard this song.. my heart will always miss a beat..

I only think of you
it's breaking my heart I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things Crying Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside I need you
Need you back in my life baby
- Will you come back please? I dont know will he do that if I tell him.. But I know for sure is all abt me.. There are bubbles on my head.. will he come back???

Will you???.... Will you??.... I ponder
I wonder.....