27th Mar _ what a BAD DAY

Today.. it started off with the word BAD.. firstly it rains in the morning and causes a small jam while going to work and while transferring bus to work I missed 2 buses and which is frustrating.. I jst don't understand y.. y am I penalised for begin early at the bus stop and I still cant get on to my bus.. sigh and eventually I reached my work place at exactly 830am.. sianz..

Another part is work kept rejecting bck to me and it is so irritating.. I do hve a nice mentor.. but is not good enough to educate me the whole process.. I need to knw and understand the critical key points in order to excel well.. sigh.. and my mentor cant see it.. sigh.. Bcos of this.. I am so disappointed in myself.. y y ?? Y am i so stupid and not able to identify the whle process myself?

Last this is the most hurtful.. I dun knw.. is it bcos A has moved my heart? All this time.. when I am stressed or feel like bursting out.. I hve the urge to sms A.. and tell A all abt it.. but I resist it.. I jst want to drink it out.. again another bad choice.. I asked myself.. search my heart .. y ..y?? I cant jst tell that someone.. Dun i love him? I do.. but some how rather I still can't break the barrier.. jst to tell him.. how I feel.. blah blah..
Now A.. told me that gf found out we are chatting.. blah blah.. and I told A I wont mind back out.. and stop talking to A.. I can.. cos I feel that I am cheating on someone.. which is not rite..
But then even I said like this.. my heart hurts.. sigh.. the feeling is like u r begin dump..