TGIF- I am back at the screen again

Oh gosh.. Can you believe when I am not working.. I kept complaining how time flied.. and how I want to get back to work and get my life straight.. and how I can happily break the news to everyone that.."Hey I change job liao.. now moving closer to my dreams.." But instead of that.. I became quiet and have to warn my close cousins to leak this info out.. I dun knw y..

And now I am undergoing my 6weeks course.. It was good and now down to 5 weeks.. again I want to rant my tiredness out here.. I guess it is bcos frm 9am to 5pm, we have been learning a lot of things ... going through the long winded explaination of evrything we learn.. Oh man.. every day when I got home.. my eyes are so tired.. tired till the fact I can't force myself to stay awake for my favourite 10pm show on channel 5.. such as Desparate housewife... and that night.. i got so pissed off.. pissed off with the fact that my mind was blank.. andI cant focus on what the hell the show was talking.. thus I jst switched off and went to bed.. it happen for the next 4days.. damn tired.. tired to think of anything..

See no job complain.. no having a job also complain.. WTF is with me man..

Anyway jst read my cousin R blog.. I felt so sorry for him.. But again I won't blame him for begin like this but empathy with him.. I have been through what he is in now.. It same for me since I chnge job.. I stopped contributing to the family for a year.. cos I CANT Afford!!
Cant they see.. while bro were still studying in U.. who was the one contributing the family.. It was me.. Why I chose Poly n not U.. is bcos I knw my parent cant pay anymre.. so I went there.. not bcos I cant.. I can.. and beside that I pay off all the fees with what I earn when I started working when I was 17yrs old.. what mre do they want..
Now of course lah.. since bro graduated that should pay why me? I now very selfish when comes to $$ with my parents.. I dont why.. but I guess is bcos they have to learn a hard way.. in the past ... I was alwys the one.. now is THM!! NOT ME!!

Sigh I dun knw what am I talking abt also..

I love my family also.. but I realise in this family I alwys the one making initative.. I mature fast and see thing in a very adult way.. in the past I make a lot of scarfices.. which no one knw.. sigh.. I felt hurt whenever M say hurtful things to me and never stand up for me.. now I am gonna quarter century old.. I have decided that all this things shld be stopped.. Sorry for this.. but end of the day I have to think for myself.. cos no one in my family will..

I wanted to blog on what I have learn this week.. but I guess i cant.. brain going died down soon.. Anyway its really an opening for me.. Thats all lah.. Tired sorry everybody..