Why.. ? Why..? Why..?

I couldn't sleep well ysterday nite after gone to my friend's annual Uni gathering at S's place.. Well this is what happen:
" I sms M (my ex uni guy friend who is now a married man) a few days back to give me a lift to S place.. if it was possible.. and He was ok to pick me up.. So he did came and pick me up.. Everything was cooled.. even till we reached S place and even when we left S place..
While he was sending me back home, he kind of touch my lap.. I looked at him and reminded him that you are a married man and a father of 1.. stop behaving like u still single and available..
M went saying that just trying to have a fling with you.. thats all.. I looked at him and said.. look I wont want to be any 3rd party of it OK!

M replied : " Have you ever asked urself what happen if u caught your another half having a fling or even caught them on bed.. will you forgive them?"
My replied: "Well I don't knw it all depends.. who did he slept with.. and etc... So how abt u will u forgive?"
M replied: "Yes, I would.. no one is perfect.. so thus I will forgive..
I went slient for a while.. so he is trying to tell me is not a problem for him after all.. and at then end of the day he will still go back to see e other half and said everyone do make mistake.. so please forgive me..

Well he tried to be funny with me.. I said please act like a married man.. and stop behaving like MBA ( Married but Available).. So eventually when I drop me at my house carpark.. I jst hurried and took my bag.. said bye to him even without looking or turning back to see him..

I guess a leopard will never change his spot even though he is a married man..

So yst nite.. I kept tossing and turning.. and wondering.. y ...? Y..? y cld someone do such a betrayer thing.. esp to their love one..

Life is Fragile.. Fear linger around us all the time.. I understand .. gonna be strong

Hey.. thank god for yesterday.. result was good and it too help me to solve my 3years pain problem on my rite side.. well the gynae is quite nice in explaining in everything abt my condition and while he was doing the scanning, he explained to me what we are looking at.. and in details..

The most impt thing is that I am fine.. and gonna be cool..

Final result.. I hope so

I be going to see a private gynae tomorrow.. thanks to my aunt.. she has been helping me a lot and pulling me through this time of diffcult.. At first, I was reluctant to hve her help.. bcos I dun want to keep on depending someone like her to help me..

since young, she has been helping me a lot..
1) She will alwys bringing me, only me out whenever I go over to grandma's house.
2) She will alwys be buying great christmas presents not only for me but to others..
3) She will alwys be there willing to lend me her lending ears to hear my problem where no one wld..
4) She is the one who brought me to church, letting me to hve a better close relationship with God..
5) She is the one who help me and mum to get to knw each other better..
... and many more..
bcos of her great kindness.. I just cant accept anymre from her.. I hate to be owing be kindness.. I hate the fact that I have been absorbing her energy.. and not giving her back some... I dun wish to accept anymre from her..
But in my heart, I know that she is the only aunt that I can trust deary and who can keep secret for me...

and again.. I have been too weak to stand up and fight this battle myself.. I need help and I seek her help.. and again she has never fail to give me her help..

The great things she has done for me cant be said by a word Thank you..

and as for tomorrow check up.. fingercross may it be the final result that said "Nothing wrong with you".. :)

Will keep updating ..

x: x: x: