WHY????????WHY????

I am tired.. frustrated..
why why.. why am i so so pissed off..
i wonder why some people can take it easily and some cant
i want to be like what i used to be..
brave.. super stubborn and hack care..
sigh.. as soon as i grow older i no longer able to keep up with it.. WHY??

Pissed off .. damn pissed off..

Pissed off .. damn pissed off..
So pissed off that I want to scream all those vulgarities out.. A-Z.. 0-9.. and in those different languages…
I dun knw y I am so emotional yst.. I cried …
I cried when I walking down Orchard Road..
I cried while on the mrt down AMK..
I cried on bus 88 hm..
I cried while watching my favourite drama on channel 8..
Finally I stopped crying when going to bed.. as I was tired..
Sigh.. How can I be so stupid and let myself toil in this emotional mess..
Where is the LOVE?
I dun knw…
Again I want to cry.. oh man dun cry here not at work .. It sucks .. Its Mon again..

Hate THIS feeling

Sob Sob.. Tears kept running down in my heart..

The sharp pain that comes and go is getting worse..

My breathing becomes heavier and heavier..

I hate this.. HATE it so much..

The more I tried to pull closer, the more it kept pushing me away..

why.. why.. why..

why do this force want to repel XX..

why can't be closer to XX??

why oh why..

with these why.. I knw that XX not the....

Let it go.. just let it...

Let buried it.. buried it...

XXXX

27th Mar _ what a BAD DAY

Today.. it started off with the word BAD.. firstly it rains in the morning and causes a small jam while going to work and while transferring bus to work I missed 2 buses and which is frustrating.. I jst don't understand y.. y am I penalised for begin early at the bus stop and I still cant get on to my bus.. sigh and eventually I reached my work place at exactly 830am.. sianz..

Another part is work kept rejecting bck to me and it is so irritating.. I do hve a nice mentor.. but is not good enough to educate me the whole process.. I need to knw and understand the critical key points in order to excel well.. sigh.. and my mentor cant see it.. sigh.. Bcos of this.. I am so disappointed in myself.. y y ?? Y am i so stupid and not able to identify the whle process myself?

Last this is the most hurtful.. I dun knw.. is it bcos A has moved my heart? All this time.. when I am stressed or feel like bursting out.. I hve the urge to sms A.. and tell A all abt it.. but I resist it.. I jst want to drink it out.. again another bad choice.. I asked myself.. search my heart .. y ..y?? I cant jst tell that someone.. Dun i love him? I do.. but some how rather I still can't break the barrier.. jst to tell him.. how I feel.. blah blah..
Now A.. told me that gf found out we are chatting.. blah blah.. and I told A I wont mind back out.. and stop talking to A.. I can.. cos I feel that I am cheating on someone.. which is not rite..
But then even I said like this.. my heart hurts.. sigh.. the feeling is like u r begin dump..