Y am I doin this to myself?

Waking up feeling heartbroken again and I guess this week is goin to be a tough week for me..
even though I have to work for four days only...

It is the midweek and still feeling broken..

I am lost and no idea what I should do?

H can you tell me what are you thinking of?
Tell me please.. I am goin crazy everytime I think about it..

I misses you so much.. my whole life is slowing down and soon it will come to stand still.. w/o next to me.. I just feel so difficult..

O Lord.. hear my cry and lead me to him ...

Four years later and I am back

Four years later and I am back on this blog.

I feel so tired and hate myself a lot..

Me and H are no longer as a couple but I just cant let it go.

I love him so much this memories I have I refuse to erase and I just wanna hold on to it forever...

But I know by doing this I will lost all my smile, my laughter, my feelings.. and I become a lifeless person who just looking forward the next day and the next day.

I love you, H and I not sure you ever remember my blog? I tried to delete it.. but I just cant..

Memories with u and me kept holding me and hopping that.. we can be together again..