Reasons to be Strong

The past few days, I have been busy cleaning up my room which was fully clutter up with unwanted items such as bags have not use for a century.. clothes that no longer in fashion and even books that I no longer would want to touch it again...
So while I was cleaning up, I found some old photos.. photos that were taken when I was 21years old with Mr DK.. Mr DK is a very nice, down to earth gentlemen but then I left him is because I couldn't agree with him getting marry in the next 2years.. and when I told my relatives and friends the reason why I left him.. many were disappointed, to them were like I losing a good man... At that age, I am still consider young and have more things that I want to do.. and definitely for sure it is a legal age for my mum that I am allow to make my own choice.. so why waste it... Till today, looking at this lovely couple photo.. i have no regrets of leaving him.. but it will alwys be a constant reminder for me why I left him.. and what shld I do right now...
After cleaning up the whole room.. I wanted to throw away some bags when i started finding "treasure" that have been hidden in my bag for a long time.. when I started looking through carefully.. some were old hair clips which are all now rusty.. some were old watches that went dead... and some were pocket size photos that werent crushed or crumpled...
Well, nothing bring back great memories by looking at the old photos.. there are one of them that were taken back in 16th April 1983 where it was my brother's 3rd birthday and it was like a sibling get together photo ( my second brother on my left, I am in the middle, eldest bro on my right) .. wow.. I dont knw why the longer I stare at the photo the mre heart broken I am .. tears started to roll down my cheeks.. i guess i am a too emotional person. Maybe I am.. maybe I am not.. bcos I hve this rush in me.. a hot burning flame burning in me.. and my heart is screaming and tearing me up.. I got to do something for them... I need to revive and kept my family's passion burning.. that was how I feel.. and now I am carrying this photo in my wallet..
And each time when I felt dishearten or seem to be drifted away from the reality, I would look at it.. and it will alwys give the feeling to be strong.. The need of me to be strong..

So i guess ... I am able to live strongly, independent tdy and not willing to say I am defeated is all bcos ...
1) God
2) my family
3) my passion

Cloudiness - Poem

Cloudiness

Is there a word called Cloudiness in the dictionary?

If yes, I would like to use this word to describe myself at this hour,

My head was blurred and filled with uncountable clouds,

My mind was filled with millions and billions of people running up, down and across the road junction,

I tried crossing the street without getting knocked down by people,

But I was brutually pushed and hit!

Stop! I screamed at the top of my voice,

But no one would!

Words kept running in my bloodtream and just wont stop!

Everything in me just kept running and running even though its now past 3am in the morning!

Running and Running like a non stop 34hrs playback CD player!

This was what happened to me last night.. I can't sleep at all.. my eyes were wide opened, eye muscle just couldn't stop excersing itself, looking around in the dark. My brain were filled with noise, such as people talking, gossiping, laughter and even shouting. I tried closing my eyes hard and prayed that it would be gone within 15mins or so. 15mins passed, nothing stop!The inside noise was still in me.. Oh god! what was happening in me.. No response, maybe there was but it was covered up by the inside noise..